


The Eternal Distance

by Enterprisingly



Series: Light Chasers [4]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Deathfic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-02
Updated: 2013-06-02
Packaged: 2017-12-13 18:49:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/827630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enterprisingly/pseuds/Enterprisingly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is no distance too great for the two of them to cross, not even death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Eternal Distance

**Author's Note:**

> I have never written anything quite like this before. But the idea took hold and wouldn't let me go, so I had to write it. This is unbeta'd and I'm still pretty new to the Trek fandom. If you catch any errors or stray commas, please let me know.

In the end, it’s Jim’s heart that will be his downfall. There was always a chance that his high-risk lifestyle would aggravate the hereditary defect that took his grandfather, and that his father never lived long enough to suffer from. When the doctor tells him this, Spock has the realization that he understands the human concept of irony more clearly than ever before. If there’s one thing that Jim Kirk does not have, it is a weak heart. And yet, the medical data does not lie.

There are procedures- transplants, serums, cybernetics and prosthetics aplenty- that could save his life, but Jim shakes his head and settles further back into the pillows on his biobed.

“I’m 105, Spock;” he says, “When I was 25, I never thought I’d make it to 30. No, save that stuff for the young people. This is my time.”

And Spock has no choice but to respect his wishes because miraculously, he is still sound of mind after all these years, or at least as sound as Jim Kirk has ever been.

~

The USS Enterprise has been decommissioned years ago. She is now used as a museum and thousands of visitors from all corners of the galaxy flock to see her every day. Neither one of them have been back to see their ship in many years, but as the end draws nearer, Jim feels a deep longing to return to her one more time and Spock, in turn, feels that longing through their Bond. 

He arranges for them to visit on a Federation holiday, when the ship is empty save for a skeleton security crew. This visit is a goodbye, and it is private. Even for someone as typically un-sentimental as Spock, it would not feel right to do this while their faithful ship was crowded with strangers.

Jim sleeps for the majority of the shuttle ride from the San Francisco spaceport to the Enterprise and, aside from the section of his consciousness that is monitoring Jim’s state of being beside him, Spock keeps his mind carefully blank. He does not let himself think about the future. 

He wakes Jim, who yawns widely, when they are finally approaching the ship, and watches as Jim then leans over to stare out the window.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” Jim asks. “Nothing could ever measure up to our ship.” 

“Indeed.” Spock agrees evenly.

They spend the day slowly wandering the familiar decks, Jim pointing at things and reminiscing about their adventures and their crew. At one point he laughs so hard at a memory- involving Chekov, Scotty, and a drinking contest that resulted in both of them getting so blindly drunk that they wound up crying on each other for half an hour- that the laughter turns into wheezing gasps. Spock makes Jim sit down and sticks him with three different hyposprays until he’s breathing normally again and complaining that Spock is worse than Bones ever was. 

They visit the Captain’s quarters, which had eventually become their quarters (and the worst-kept secret in all of Starfleet, for many years) and even though physical sex hasn’t been a part of their lives for a while now, the dirty smile and wink that Jim gives him as they step through the door, is all 28-year-old Starfleet Captain and the accompanying nudge that he gives Spock through their Bond sends a shiver down his spine.

The last place they visit is the bridge. Jim sits in his Captain’s chair and stares out at the stars, and Spock stands by his side, their hands entwined. The bridge is empty and quiet, and it is strange to be here without the humming purr of the warp engines beneath their feet and the continual noise and motion of the bridge crew. If he concentrates hard, Spock can almost feel their echoes in the stillness. Jim gently squeezes his hand and Spock squeezes back. 

The two of them remain that way for a very long time.

~

When Jim finally goes it is quiet. There are no explosions, there is no fanfare, no ships going down in a blaze of glory, no worlds imploding, or atoms colliding; he simply closes his eyes and does not open them again. Spock holds his hand until Jim slips away, until the constant light and sound on the other end of their Bond grows dark and silent. And then he is gone and for the first time since they met, over half a century ago, Spock is truly alone.

Jim has blazed brighter than any other being in the universe; streaking like a beam of unstoppable light from star system to star system, changing the lives of everyone that he has come into contact with. He has ended wars and toppled dictators, freed slaves and saved the lives of millions of beings, many of whom do not even know he exists. He has been so many things to so many people and yet, he will never be more important to anyone than he always has been and always will be to Spock. 

They have had so many years together. Perhaps not as many as a Vulcan couple, but many more than most Starfleet officers could ever have hoped for. Every word that could possibly have been exchanged between the two of them has been said at one point or another, every thought and feeling shared; they have left no stone unturned, no boundary unbroken. And Spock knows that when he too steps through the door, into the great beyond, Jim will be there, waiting for him, because they have never said goodbye.

_T’hy’la._

_I love you, too._

_I know._

_Good._


End file.
